Why leadership mentoring is important
A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.
-Oprah Winfrey
Leadership mentoring is about developing the next generation of leaders.
If you’re reading this… that’s you! There will always be a need for leaders, and good leaders are a result of a) intentional personal growth, b) professional development, and c) being mentored.
Receiving mentorship is like building on a foundation that’s already started vs. trying to lay a foundation all by yourself. Learning from the lessons, challenges, and failures of others has a way of multiplying your growth. Just like with parenthood, it takes a village. I believe it’s not possible to have a truly successful career without people supporting us along the way. Whether from a book or a physical person, we need input and guidance. We are social beings! If there’s one thing I recommend every leader (new, aspiring, or seasoned) should do, it’s find a leadership mentor as quickly as possible.
How to find a mentor in leadership
I’m going to give you a tip that will make this really easy for you: You already know your mentor.
The leadership mentor relationship can come to life in three ways:
Formal – You define specific roles and goals and have a regular meeting or check-in cadence.
Informal – You don’t define the relationship, but you know you can intentionally seek out this person for guidance when you need it. Trust is well-established.
Impersonal – Authors, podcasters, speakers, influencers, actors, philanthropists… saturate your life with voices who are modeling traits you wish to develop or who have overcome challenges you need to overcome.
Whatever type(s) of mentors you bring around you, release the inclination to be guarded. Trust them, and trust yourself to take or leave their advice as needed. Be clear with yourself about what you hope to learn from your mentors and get out of your interactions with them.
Questions to ask your leadership mentor
I’m going to give you 5 examples of questions below, but I care more that you trust this person to dialogue with them in a safe way. You should feel confident in asking questions, knowing they have your best interests in mind. Don’t overthink it – just bring them your challenges and invite their input!
I’m working on my career plan, would you have an hour to look it over with me?
Did you ever feel like you weren’t taken seriously as a woman leader? How did you work through that?
As you reflect on your career, what legacy do you hope to leave as a leader?
How did you / do you balance work and life? Any tips?
Looking back, what’s something you wished you’d prioritized more at my point in your career?
I was recently interviewed for an article on Medium on my experience working with an executive coach (a more defined relationship than leadership mentoring). Read the article for an inside look at how I interact with my leadership mentor →
“[With my mentor] I’ve gained deeper self-awareness, enhanced my decision-making skills, and improved my ability to connect with others. This has been pivotal in allowing me to reflect on and define what I truly aim to achieve in life.”
– Marisa Matz (as quoted in medium.com)
Activity: Build a leadership committee
In my new Rising Legacy workshop, I guide participants through an exercise I call “Building your Legacy Committee” (2024 dates open for registration… learn more about Rising Legacy here). Here’s a very high-level look – for more direct guidance on the process I’d love to see you in class!
Visualize holding up your hand. Each finger represents a member you should include in your committee.
Maybe it’s an old boss (I don’t believe your current manager should be part of your committee – they play a different role in your career), or an old coworker you’d like to have lunch with. Could be a senior leader who gave you an opportunity once. Maybe you’re connected on LinkedIn. Maybe they’re just someone you text every once in a while.
Whoever you choose, you should have a specific intention with this person -- they should align with a career aspiration of yours or have a value or virtue you look up to and aspire to be. Identify for yourself why you want that person to speak into your life.
If you don’t feel comfortable asking them to formally be your mentor, that’s perfectly okay. In my life, many of my mentors don’t know they’re my mentors. You don’t have to label the relationship!
Wrapping it up…
When I think back to all my career milestones and all the ups and downs I’ve been through in my career, I can recall the names of women who helped me during those times. If I didn’t have those women in my life, there’d be no way I’d be here today. No WAY.
I want leaders (especially women leaders) to make a very conscious effort to come up with people around them that they can call on a whim, ask questions of, be honest with, ask for advice from, vent with – I want you to have a solid group of people to hold you up, to prop you up when you feel like you’re tipping over or losing your way.
There will be tough times; leadership is challenging. You’re going to want to quit. You’re going to want to go back to your old job and be okay with making less money. Your career aspirations may change. You need to know people have your back and can help you find your way forward.
Leadership mentoring can be formal or informal, life-long or changing (your committee will shift throughout your career). Always be on the lookout for the next leadership mentor you want to connect with. You never know how these relationships will help to define and strengthen your own leadership legacy.
Lead the way,
