Developing the art of positive self-talk
Create authentic connection by being aware of your self-talk
Many of us are going through life without being aware of the influence our self-talk has over our relationships and personal growth. When your self-talk is unproductive, it can chip away at your emotional wellbeing, self-esteem, and ability to connect authentically with others.
Our voices do not hold power over our daily life. By redirecting your self-talk toward positive intentions, you’ll find yourself feeling more free to make authentic connections at home, in your social circles, and at work.
Here’s my three-step framework for speaking positive and shifting your voice so it doesn’t drag you (and your potential) down.
#1 - Assess
It’s amazing how often we don’t realize the inner dialogue chit chatting away in our heads. Practice assessing your self-talk by giving yourself space to listen through an intentional pause and deep breath. I find this conscious practice gives me time for personal inquiry. Here’s what my practice looks like:
IDENTITY
Are the messages I’m sending myself positive and supportive, or do they lean toward self-doubt and criticism?
Reflect
Consider the origins of the messages I’m receiving. For example, they might be based on past experiences, societal or familial expectations, or my own insecurities.
ask
Are they based on facts or assumptions? Pause and ask:
What’s causing this?
Who’s causing this?
What can I control?
The art of positive self-talk is really about knowing when to take your own word. When you’re feeling low-energy or disconnected from the people around you, it’s probably time to carefully assess that voice and determine what needs to shift.
#2 Shift
There will be many times (even daily) when you realize your self-talk isn’t serving you and your goals. When you catch yourself, pause and practice shifting that self-talk. Take a look at this table with positive self talk quotes to help you practice self-compassion, positivity, and optimism.
You can use this as a positive self talk worksheet!
IF YOU’RE INTERESTED IN DEEPENING YOUR SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-REFLECTION PRACTICES,
STAY TUNED FOR A BIG WORKSHOP ANNOUNCEMENT COMING NEXT MONTH.
Here’s why I promise shifting your self-talk is worth it:
Boosts self-confidence
When you believe in your capabilities, you’re more likely to take on new tasks, offer your insights, and participate actively in team discussions.
Promotes authenticity
When you’re kind and encouraging to yourself, you’re more likely to be authentic and genuine in your relationships with colleagues and express your thoughts and ideas honestly.
Enhances collaboration
When you trust your abilities and are more receptive to feedback and other ideas (instead of feeling threatened), you’ll become a sought-after collaborator.
Builds resilience
Working on your self-talk helps develop the mental fortitude to navigate workplace stressors and changes.
Here’s the takeaway: You have the power to shift your self-talk!
#3 - Release
Here are some of the tricks I use to release negative self-talk and replace that inner dialogue with a more positive (and true!) voice:
Do some self-reflective writing
Keep a journal where you document positive experiences, achievements, and compliments from others
Write down 5 things you’re grateful for each day
Look for evidence that contradicts your negative thoughts
Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend facing a similar situation
Visualize yourself succeeding and achieving your goals
Go out to lunch with a friend
Get rid of all that negativity so you can step forward into the great things you’re entirely capable of! Remember: Your self-talk doesn’t always have your best interests at heart.
Wrapping it up
Practice mindfulness by observing your thoughts without judgment. Challenge negative thoughts. Transform negative statements into positive ones. When you assess, shift, and release any negative self-talk, you’ll set yourself free from things you may not have ever been aware were impacting you.
This may be a moment-by-moment practice, so when you start speaking to yourself in a more productive way, you may find that your self-talk was the only thing holding you back.
If you’re interested in deepening your self-awareness and self-reflection practices, stay tuned for a big workshop announcement coming next month.
Lead the way,
